Public Performance: white wall
HOPELESS
a reflection
written by Ilka Theurich
This short essay is a reflection on my performance white wall held at the 5th of December 2018, beween 4:30pm till 9:30pm, in front of the colonial villa of the Goethe-Institut in Yangon.
I. The site-specific background
On one hand white wall is a site-specific based live performance and deals with context and the history of the colonial villa. The location where taken into account while planning and creating the action. And on the other hand white wall is reflecting the cultural background of the artist. The chosen space and the cultural background are elements which are already acting before the action even started.
„I am a white European woman in front of a colonial villa.“
The colonial villa is an example of private villas which emerged around the 1920s in Yangon. And according to the homepage of the Goethe-Institut was Yangon „at that time one of the most important ports in the British empire where the riches of Burma - mainly rice, teak and other desirable tropical woods - were shipped all over the world. The owner of the villa was probably a European.“
„I am a white European woman in front of a
former headquarter of the Anti-Fascist People's Freedom League .“
In 1942, during the Second World War and the Japanese attack on Yangon and British Burma, many rich foreign families fled the city alongside the retreating British army. The villa stood empty until the end of the war. In early 1945 General Aung San turned the house into the headquarters of his independence party, the Antifascist People‘s Freedom League (AFPFL), a coalition between the army and various leftist political groups.
Until the assassination of Aung San in July 1947 the villa constituted an historical space of paramount discussions and meetings, resulting in the resolutions and demands for complete independence from the colonial government. After being granted independence, and particularly after the split within AFPFL, the house lost its political significance.
„I am a white European woman in front of a former art academy.“
During the first years of General Ne Win’s dictatorship the State Academy of the Arts were estabilshed inside the villa. From 1967until 2006 state-run art education took place in the grand parlour of the villa. Several of the famous contemporary artists in Yangon began their careers here. During their studies many lived in the side-tract specially built for this purpose.
„I am a white European woman in front of the Goethe-Institut.“
The fist Goethe-Institut in Yangon was founded in 1959, preceding the institutes in Manila, Jakarta and Bangkok as the first in South-East-Asia. However, it was closed-down only few months after Ne Win’s military coup in 1962. But 2012 paved the way for negotiating a cultural agreement between Myanmar and Germany, during which the Minister of Culture at the time, U Aye Myint Kyu, offered the villa, in dire need of renovation, as a future venue for the Goethe-Institut. On February 11 in 2014 a ceremonial opening of the institute took place on the lawn of the villa in the presence of the German Federal President Joachim Gauck. Then followed negotiations of a long-term lease agreement, the first concerts and art exhibitions of the institute (making it known as the „Goethe Villa“in the Yangon cultural scene), the decision of the German Foreign Office in Berlin to invest several million Euros in the renovation of the historical villa and the construction of three new surrounding buildings, and the inception of the initial planning by the Berlin architecture firm Gerhartz. The construction works, executed by the Yangon firm Tokyo Enterprise, began on November 1 in 2016 and were completed in May 2018. For the old villa this means a new beginning as a place of learning for young Myanmar citizens who wish to prepare for studies in Germany through our language classes and new library, and as a place of cultural encounters and creative exchanges between artists from Myanmar, Germany and Europe.“1
II. The personal cultural background
„I am a white European woman.“
White PERSPECTIVE
I should not forget that I look to the world from a privileged situation.
European PERSPECTIVE
I should not forget that I always encounter the world
from a European cultural based perspective.
Female PERSPECTIVE
I should not forget, that I define my femininity more diverse,
than the cultural mainstream is doing it.
If I really want to reflect my own actions, I always have to consider also my own cultural perspectives.
III. white wall – the preparation
„I am a white European woman between hope and hopelessness“
During the night of the 26th to the 27th of October 2018, I listened to a new song of the German Band AnnenMayKantereit with the title „Weiße Wand“2 (white wall). They uploaded the video just a few hours earlier on youtube. I was touched by the lyrics and the sound. And the song mirrored my feelings between hope and hopelessness of the current situation in Europe.
[Refrain]
I am alone with the white wall
And my fucking mind
I do not know, man!
And my fucking mind
I do not know, man!
In Germany and in many other European countries we are currently facing more and more populism in the politics, more and more verbal aggressive attacks in discussions, and people who are not even interested in a democratic confrontation.
[Verse 1]
I drive 'black' in a white country
Although I can afford the trip
And I look at the headlines
And something has burned in my mind
Refugee crisis feels like Reichstag fire
Although I can not compare
Strangely, though the world may go to the dogs, the future has a dazzling image. And our politicians and lobbyists even sell their political campaign slogans so well, as if the future really is still a promise.
[Verse 2]
You know, man
I am young and white in a rich country
My delivery room was circled by a white wall
I am young and white in a rich country
My delivery room was circled by a white wall
Shit, man! [...]
[Verse 4]
I drive 'black' in a white country
that you can not travel with every pass
I drive 'black' in a white country
that you can not travel with every pass
In Germany the people in the streets are not living together as a society. They are living individuals who are passing public spaces without encountering each other. They don't look happy, although they are living in one of the richest country in the world. And I am asking myself: How can I actively take part in a sustainable form-giving process inside our society.
[Refrain]
I'm alone with the white wall
And my fucking mind
I do not know man
And everybody knows that the wall is white
And everybody knows the wall is white
I'm alone with the white wall [...]
While listening to this song, I found the following metaphor for the situation in Europe:
Confusion of the heart - Collateral damage of the mind.
IV. white wall - the action
PART ONE
I collected and brushed bricks lying on the roadside.
Stone by stone, I piled up about 70 of them, in front of the Goethe-Institut.
Behind the small constructed brick wall is the main entrance to the colonial villa.
While I was getting thirstier, the festival started.
While I was getting dirtier, the sun sank in the darkness of the night.
While I was getting more and more tired, I was observed.
With flour, I drew a line on the lawn in front of the Goethe-Institut.
Before the wall I prepared three ropes.
Behind the wall I hided a small brush.
PART TWO
The recipients were invited to "tug of war".
Four teams were found
Two ropes were used.
While the four teams were fighting,
I kneeled down and try to brush the flour line away.
While one of the ropes was still stretched over my head
and a teammate fell over me,
another team in front of me won already their fight.
PART THREE
I knelt down behind the wall and stuck my left arm through a hole in the wall.
In one piece I tried to lift the wall with my left arm.
The impossibility of this action was underpinned by the falling of each loosely lying bricks.
I stepped out of the action
and wrapped my head in one of the ropes lying around.
As I walked away, I balanced one of the bricks on the bondage-head.
V. white wall - the aftermath
I chose the title HOPELESS for this short reflection because it reveals to my expectations. Should we really hope less for ourselves, our families, friends and colleagues, our tribe, or our nation? Or can we even become stronger in our visions, if we hope more for ourselves, our families, friends and colleagues, our tribe, or our nation?
While HOPE is an optimistic state of mind that is based on an expectation of positive outcomes with respect to events and circumstances in one's life or the world at large ans as a verb, its definitions include: "expect with confidence" and "to cherish a desire with anticipation“, on the other side HOPELESSNESS can be described as negative feelings about the future and a loss of motivation and expectations.
How can I actively take part in a sustainable form-giving process, if I have a loss of motivation? Ok, if I need my motivation to be an active part in the society, I have to check my expectations. If I feel hopelessness then are my expectations too big? What are my expectations for my role in a society where I want to live in?
- I want to be respected, as I respect others.
- I want to be equal as everyone in the society.
- I want to get the chance to be an active part of society.
- I want to be free in my thoughts and actions.
- I want to be someone who grows of discussions.
If we lose hope in some situations, we are called upon to take good care of ourselves. So that hope finds its way back to us. Even if we work against windmills, it is still worth keeping the millstone moving. HOPE should be always bigger than hopelessness. Just with hope we will become an active part in our society. Or to develope a new metaphor: The confusion of our heart can be the starting point for our creative mind.
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1Homepage: Goethe-Institut Myanmar, last visit 05th of Feburary 2019 https://www.goethe.de/ins/mm/en/kul/mag/21305423.html
2Youtube: AnnenMayKantereit, „Weiße Wand“, last visit 5th of February 2019 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SPMutMEI_mo&index=18&list=PLHCU7f172fa6iXwUuASbLS7QL1pSs8lJP